Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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