Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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