u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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