Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
