Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize