Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
