My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
