like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
