No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
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