all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Randomize