I smell stomach acid.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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