i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Randomize
