Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
