I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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