my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Your penis caused this!
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
