I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
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