nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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