brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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