Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
