the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Randomize
