You're my little dorito
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize