Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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