how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
