so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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