Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
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