I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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