She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Your penis caused this!
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize