but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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