C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
