We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
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