I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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