Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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