he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize