I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
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