What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
