He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
