Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Bring me that man meat
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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