Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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