Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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