clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
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