yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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