Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
