I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
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