in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
she peed on how many people?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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