maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
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He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
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its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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