You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
