Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
