just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize