his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
