My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
