yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I wish you could order shots online.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
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Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
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You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.