She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.