Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.

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(419): View more from Ohio

Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?

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(206): View more from Washington

I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(949): View more from California

he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"

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(773): View more from Illinois

What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.

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(204): View more from Manitoba

Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus

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(775): View more from Nevada

Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!

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(786): View more from Florida

I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.

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