A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
