Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
don't judge my taste in strippers
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
