did you get engaged???
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
just tell him i said nine months
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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