That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
You're a waste of cheezeits
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Randomize
