Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize