I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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