Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
FUCK WHALES
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
