just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
