Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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