i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
This house was built for laser tag.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
